Australian, Want an iPhone? Too Damn Bad

Sigh. Australia, Australia, Australia.

I’ve almost gotten over the insane broadband limits, the surpassing of which slows down my connection. I’ve not quite as much gotten over the impossible-to-understand cell mobile phone schemes: “A $49 cap gets you $450 worth of calls!!!!!” How the hell much does each call cost?! And forget the unlimited nights and weekends. Yes, still working on getting over those things.

Then there is the iPhone. Okay, fine. I get that it started in the U.S. and so of course the U.S. gets it first. Thousands make it down under and get, what they call, jailbroken so they can be used on carriers here. But finally — FINALLY — Australian iPhone availability is announced and I allow myself to get excited. One day, I will have one even if the point of one (its data plan) will cost as much as two weeks’ worth of rent (I’m guessing) per month. But will I?

This today from MacNN:

Telstra Vodaphone and Optus will get less than 80,000 iPhones to sell between them and are expecting to post sold out signs “within minutes of the new phones going on sale,” according to a new report. “There is not enough to go round and each carrier could have less than 25,000 units for sale on July 11th,” one carrier told Smarthouse.

Another Vodaphone executive, who preferred to be anonymous, said that it “will have next to nothing in allocation” and that what limited inventory it will have “will be snapped up within minutes.”

Missing Apple Mania

We all know the new iPhone will be out next month. (If we all don’t know then we all should perhaps pull our heads out of our asses and start paying closer attention.) That’s big enough news in itself, especially here in Australia, the land where things come to people later in life.

But next week, a full three weeks before the iPhone officially hits these here shores, the Apple Store in Sydney is scheduled to open. And I won’t be anywhere near it. The store opens June 19 at 5:00 p.m. Two hours later, the girl and I will be on a plane in a different state headed to another country.

It’s a hushed affair, of course, but the people are saying it’s three stories, has glass everywhere, and contains a top-secret design feature that eats into the square footage and so we can’t know how big the floors actually are.

And about that phone. I won’t be getting one, because there’s really no point. They’re expensive. And I don’t really call people here. Next year, though! Next year, I say. I’m hoping that by then, the price cut that Americans are going to enjoy, will actually be a reality here. I can’t imagine a $299 16GB iPhone. But I hear Optus and Vodafone will be announcing the price closer to the release date. Can’t wait for that news. Based on nothing in particular, I predict $399 for an 8GB model.

The iPhone Light And How to Use ‘SMS’ Incorrectly

Well it’s about damn time. Australia is gonna get the iPhone. Optus is the latest company to announce that it has signed a contract with the company to sell its wonderful phone down here. Last week, Vodafone said it will also carry it. Well, well, well.

I bet it will cost $1,500. They sell less impressive phones for $1,000 so my belief is not totally unfounded. For that reason, I won’t have one anytime soon. I don’t have many people to call anyway, so I’m not so broken up about that, but to know it’s here if I do want to go out suddenly and take the plunge makes me feel swell.

I wouldn’t be able to understand the plans anyway. I still haven’t figured out really how they work. Meredith has explained it to me, but she has done so in vain because I just don’t get the use of the word “cap.” “Pay this cap and get this much money worth of calls.” Well how much hell do the calls cost? Just tell me how many minutes I get and how much it costs. Period. Nor is there waiting till 9 o’clock to make that cell phone call. Those types of things aren’t included here.

And finally, SMS. Many, many, many Australians use the term “SMS” when they mean texting. SMS (short messaging service) is a text message. It’s not the act of sending the message. “SMS your answer to….”; “SMS me.” Seriously. It grates on my nerves, and I’ve never understood it. Now, of course, it goes over my head and I rarely notice it. But there are those times when it’s a pretty egregious use and I just stop and ponder the implications.

I understand that the word “text” isn’t necessarily a good evolution of a word, either. However, compare “text me” to “short message service me.” Seems to be a no-brainer. To be fair, not all Australians do this. My girlfriend, for one, says “text.” But I pretty much can’t speak for anyone else.

Is The iPhone in Australia Too Much to Ask?

Not that I could even afford one. And not that I have any friends here to call on one. But damn, since the awesome gadget was released last year, I’ve been coveting it like I covet chocolate fudge and ice-cold milk. Like I covet a book deal. Hell, a finished draft. Like I covet American Mexican food. I want an iPhone and I want one badly.

But the gem of Jobs is only rumored to be making an appearance down here in June. (“Down here.” As though it’s at the bottom of a ladder looking up to the heavens for attention. Sometimes it feels like that, people.) There’s talk of 3G and no messy contracts with specific carriers. There’s talk of the timing to coincide with the first Apple stores in Australia in Sydney and Melbourne. And there’s talk of just about all kinds of other things regarding the iPhone, including unlocking it.

Think there’s no interest in Australia? A search online yields no fewer than five dedicated Web sites pushing for the iPhone here. There is news. There are rumors. There is unlocking information. And it’s all moot to those of us who can’t afford one. Knowing how things go here, the iPhone will probably cost $1,500. No joke.

So until I can get my grubby hands on one, I’ll continue to see them make appearances on television, in movies, and in my imagination.

December of This Year

I have been without my iPod since Thursday. About three months ago, I was at a bar. At some point, I had to go to the bathroom. And I did. And so did my iPod. I dropped it right in the toilet. (The water was clear.)

For a split second, one which felt actually like an eternity, I stared at it, considering all the while what was happening. The water was going into every orifice of the unit. It was getting in between the case and the unit. Surely I need to go in after it. And I did, a split second after it splashed in. After drying it off furiously and checking to see that it still worked, I realized the gravity of what had just happened. My buzz helped alleviate the impact. And I was fine. Just like my iPod would be … a couple of days later. Now, three months later, it’s with Apple at its Elk Grove, Calif., facility, which happens to be one freeway exit away from where I used to work.

It started losing battery power after only playing for a little while. This, combined with the mysterious lines that appeared in horizontal and vertical formations on the face, meant it was time to repair the poor thing. But that’s not all. In addition to its physical ailments, I realized I started harboring negative feelings for it.